I have been reading up on homeschooling these days. Oops, are you thinking what I am thinking? I have been an above average student all my life. My family proudly said well she can manage high scores easily. No they never asked me or pressurized me to be the topper in class but have you noticed how all the neighbours just wanted to know how much I scored in 10th and 12th? Do you even understand what a huge pressure that is to kids? I was literally scared of failing. I excelled in almost everything I did. But did it make me an anxious grown ass adult who gets frustrated even at the slightest uncontrollable situations. Well yes, that's what happened. Since Ichu happened, I am genuinely trying to inculcate the fact that life is all about letting it go.

I didn't have friends initially at school till I was in 7th STD. I was this weird tiny child who no one wanted to play with. I have had situations where I would beg my classmates to include me in their games. I vividly remember how I would peep through the glass door of the AV room during tea breaks and lunch breaks to see my seniors dancing for the upcoming competitions. As a 4th STD kid who had no friends, watching seniors dancing was all that made me happy at school. My classmates never saw that I even existed. I would end up being given written letters as to why they believe I don't belong with them. Well that used to be a thing back in my days. I guess I received around 4 to 5 letters of rejection from my classmates. I never told about this to anyone in my life and I would just come back home and cry in my room. It was probably when I took part in a solo dance competition in my 7th grade, people started noticing me. Then there was no turning back. I got into dancing, singing, acting and my god even sports. I worked hard so much to earn that social acceptance at school that I forgot how unnecessarily efficient I had become.

Today when I see Ichu running around and playing with kids at our apartment I sometimes wonder will the world treat her the same way they treated me. Just because I didn't fit the societal expectations of a 'normal' child. There are days when random strangers pass a comment, " My God, isn't she too tiny to be 1 year 9 months?" And there do you see why I thought about homeschooling 😅

Perhaps I also understand why our education system is all about creating employees rather than free willed intelligent people. Guess what, I am going to leave it up to her.

Opening up a lil today...